So, haven't updated in a while...but there are a couple of things I DO NOT like about losing weight, and I thought I would share them here.
I absolutely hate the feeling of being with other women and getting the sense that they are more uncomfortable with themselves and their bodies, because I am there. I have had this experience more than once. Friends I used to be able to bond with, feel comfortable around, and laugh and even have deep conversations...it feels like they have a tendency to judge themselves again my weight. It hurts, but not because it is directed at me, it isn't. It hurts, because I remember doing it at my highest weight, and I never should have done it! I just want to grab the arms of the women I am sitting with and tell them all the things that I wish I had told myself when I was bigger.
1. You are beautiful just as you are! Weight can come, and go...and does, all the time. What really matters is your authentic and genuine spirit, your beauty is SOOOOO much more than what you look like. The things that make you beautiful, whether you are in a 4X top, or an XS, are the same things!!! Please don't let that pesky number on a scale, or on your pants, make you feel unworthy, ugly, or less than! You are beautiful, and you should know it!
2. What you do with your life, is more important than what you eat! We have all heard the saying, "You are what you eat", Well, I am here to tell you that is a LIE!! You are not what you eat, you are so much more than that. You are a powerful, amazing, talented, giving, intuitive, elegant, gorgeous spark of creation! What you eat, is a choice. It has nothing to do with who you are, or the gifts you have to give to yourself, your family and the world around you.
3. We are not in competition! Life is not a beauty pageant, where women are judged by how skinny they can get, and how pretty they are compared to the other women around them. I know that the media, your mother, your Aunts, your sister(s), your friends, and you have all come to believe that our weight and beauty is constantly being judged by others, but it really isn't. The media has tricked us into believing that what others see, is the definition of who we are...and that couldn't be farther from the truth! Look in the mirror everyday, and say, "That is what beautiful looks like" do that everyday for 30 days, and I bet you will start to see that the brainwashing will start to fade...
4. You are not as fat, as you imagine. This is the biggest one of all of these, and I wish that I would have seen it before I started losing weight. I imagined myself as the biggest woman on the planet. I felt eyes on me all the time when I left my house, when I went to the store. I just knew that everyone was commenting, snickering, and heckling about my weight and how "HUGE" I was...guess what, most of them weren't. There are always jerks somewhere, but for the most part, people are not sitting around thinking, "Wow, there goes the biggest woman I have ever seen", when you are in the room. And if you are in a room with a complete jerk, then it is their problem and not yours. What they think of you, isn't any of your business, as they say!
5. You are loved. There are so many people who loved me just as I was, and still love me the same today. They loved me big, they love me smaller, and if I gained every ounce I have lost back, and then some, they will still love me. Surround yourself with those people...the ones who don't see that you are "overweight", but the ones who really see you. They will love you enough to love yourself, if you will only let them.
Many women may say that I have come to see these things because I have lost weight, but what I want you to know is, I still struggle every single day with these. Because my weight was not the part I struggled with the most. It was my mind. Our minds are so powerful, they can trick us into believing that we are unworthy of love...mine still does. I get into a room with beautiful thin women, and my mind says, "Wow, if only you could look like them, then you would really be beautiful" I have to remind myself of who I really am on a daily basis, because my mind got so lost in what I thought I was, that rediscovering myself is my moment to moment agenda. Can I say that I love myself more than I ever have, right now, in this moment? Yes! And in an hour I might be fighting with my mind again. I hope that one day I will be able to look in the mirror and see my real beauty, and I truly hope that each and every one of you will see it too. No matter what size we happen to be at the time.
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